that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
