Moan for me like Helen Keller
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
