just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
