i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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