Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
