i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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