Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
