On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize