is your mom at the bar?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
