i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
