Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
