5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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