Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
