Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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