her vagine was all disorganized.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
