It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
