Moan for me like Helen Keller
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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