just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize