Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
