i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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