Do vagina's smell?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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