I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Do vagina's smell?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
