I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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