Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
