Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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