Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
