I am in a vortex of obligation.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
