just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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