Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will pee on everything he values.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
