I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
