im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
