Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
