feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize