My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We named our party play list daddy issues
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
