After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
