Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
