im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
