currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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