thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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