On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
