Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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