Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
