i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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