...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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