we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if only i could text you this smell
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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