brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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