im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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