That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
