Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
