hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
