I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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