If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
