put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
