So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
