I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize