He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
