It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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