So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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