i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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