i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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