So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
