I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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