I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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