Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
