i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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